Want to Be a Husband with Initiative? Here Are 3 Tips!

“I’m sad, my husband has so little initiative. All he does is stay quiet and wait for his wife to act first. Am I the head of the household?” complained a wife. Why is that? She complained because she felt her husband was too passive, so she was always the one making decisions. As the leader of the family, this is not how it should be; a husband should be the one to take initiative.

So then, how important is it to be a husband with initiative? 

What Is a Husband with Initiative?

According to the Indonesian dictionary, initiative means taking the lead. Taking the lead itself means an effort, an initial action brought forth by someone.

Looking at the meaning of the word, it can be understood that an initiative-taking husband is a husband who is willing to express ideas or thoughts, and begin doing good things. Not a husband who is always passive and silently waiting for ideas from others, especially from his wife.

He is a husband who has ideas for building his marriage and family. Whether in hardship or joy, he is always the first to move forward with his ideas.

However, that is the ideal situation. What happens if a husband has no initiative?

Without Initiative, What Happens?

Being born as the pampered youngest child, I grew up into a husband full of fear. From childhood, my parents were overly protective of me. If I wanted to play outside, I was often forbidden. If I wanted to do anything, I was forbidden. As a result, I thought that disaster would strike if I did something.

That carried over into my marriage. I often did not dare to start anything. For example, I was not brave enough to invite my wife to go on a trip out of town. Especially if the route was winding and steep like a roller coaster. My legs immediately went cold whenever I started driving on a high uphill road.

As a result, even though I knew my wife needed refreshment, I did not take her on a trip. Not only out of town, even going out around the city was rare. 

I kept holding on to my fear and my own comfort. My wife became increasingly unhappy, and she even said to me, “I don’t dare expect anything from you. You are too busy and focused on yourself.”

Those words changed my mindset; If I kept failing to show initiative, my household would feel flat and bland. So I began to change my mindset and convince myself to step forward and take opportunities first.

How Can We Change?

Like it or not, having initiative is important for becoming a husband. Just imagine, if  we as husbands are active and seek to lead our wives and family more. Wouldn’t the family feel more secure and certain with a husband like that?

Our attitude and character will also grow, because we are striving to do our best for our wives. In the end, what else could it produce if not a marriage that is happier.

The things below have helped me change into a husband with more initiative in marriage. May they also be useful for you, husbands. 

1. Husbands Are Given the Role to Lead

Ephesians 5:23 for the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church. He Himself is the Savior of the body.

What is God’s role and design for a husband? We are the head of our wives. In other words, we are placed to lead our wives . 

Being a leader here does not mean controlling and dictating everything. On the contrary, a husband who leads sets an example and takes responsibility for the happiness of his wife. That means we need to take initiative in doing various things. 

One of them is that we need to be an example in spiritual matters, in having quiet time with God. What can we do? We take the initiative to pray together. Once a week, we can invite our wives to read and study God’s Word together. 

When a husband realizes his role as a leader, we will be driven to have initiative.

2. Be Willing to Love and Make Your Wife Happy

Often the reason I lack initiative is that I am unwilling to love my wife. In other words, I am more focused on my own comfort and selfishness. 

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands husbands, love your wives just as Christ has loved the church and gave Himself up for her 

On the contrary, God’s Word tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. If God did not love us, would Christ have been willing to suffer and breathe His last on the cross?

When I reflect on the verse above, I am motivated to overcome my laziness and comfort. I replace them with the initiative to do good things for my wife . 

3. Defeat Fear 

Each of us has our own fears. Perhaps some are afraid of heights, afraid of having their comfort disturbed, afraid of being belittled or not appreciated, or other things. Sometimes, those things greatly hinder us from taking initiative. 

Wedding anniversary last year, I invited my wife to stay at a hotel out of town. I was worried, afraid that something might happen during the trip. I tried to overcome my fear. The result was that my wife felt happy. She even said, “It’s unusual for you, honey, to invite me to stay out of town. I’m so happy.” Our anniversary became the most memorable moment even to this day. 

Psalm 118:6 The LORD is on my side. I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? 

The verse above has helped me greatly. If God is on our side, is there anything we need to fear? Perhaps there is, but trust that God will be with us!

Try to overcome your fear or do things that go against your fear, and start taking initiative!

Initiative Begins Within Us

Actually, initiative is within you. But you yourself must decide to change. No one else can force it. 

Believe that you can change. Your wife will be happy to have a husband who takes the initiative to make her happy. With humility and God’s guidance, you can become a husband with initiative in marriage and family.

All for the glory of our God.

Related Articles:

• 3 Duties of a True Leader
• Are These 7 Signs of a Happy Family Already Present in Your Family?
• A Harmonious Family Does Not Fall from the Sky
• Becoming a Good Leader Like Jesus
• 4 Crucial Characteristics That Must Be Present in a Prospective Husband

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