Want to Be a Spiritual Family Leader? Do These 3 Things!

Whether a family lives in harmony or turmoil, is blessed or cursed, endures or falls apart is determined by the quality of its leader. Abundant wealth, high rank, or advanced education is no guarantee that someone can become a good head of the family. The number of family members, whether few or many, is also not what makes leading a family easy or difficult.

For example, I know a man who has nine children. His life as a motorcycle mechanic in his younger days was quite hard. Remarkably, all nine of his children live in harmony with one another, and all of them are now successful in their work.

How can you become a leader who builds the family and guides each member to fear the Lord?

If you are interested in the question above, that means you are willing to learn to become a family leader who is right in God's sight. For that, do the following three things:

1. Love Your Wife (Ephesians 5:22-33)

In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own body, but nourishes and cares for it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of His body. – Ephesians 5:28-30

It feels easy to love your wife during the first three years of marriage. However, the longer a husband knows his wife, the more he will become aware of her weaknesses. For example, while dating, we may not know that our partner is not very careful about cleanliness. Or that now she is not watching her weight as much; or that she is busier taking care of the children than paying attention to us. These are the kinds of things that often trigger conflict and quarrels in the home.

Whatever changes happen in your wife, God's Word clearly states: you as a husband must love her as you love your own body. The fact that this command is repeated up to three times (verses 25, 28, and 33) shows how important it is to do this. If you like to curse at your wife with all kinds of excuses, for example, that she neglects the husband's physical or spiritual needs, or if you often hit her, then you are not loving your wife according to God's will.

One reason many couples divorce is because the husband does not love his wife. Loving your wife is an obligation, not a choice. It is the commitment you made when you spoke your wedding vows before God. If your wife has a problem, you are the one responsible to look for a solution, instead of blaming your wife or someone else. Love your wife, not only when everything is going well, but also in the worst conditions.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. – Colossians 3:19

2. Do Not Hurt Your Child's Heart (Colossians 3:18-4:6)

Fathers, do not embitter your children, lest they become discouraged. – Colossians 3:21

When God gives your family a child, that means He trusts that you and your wife can be parents. God knows you will be able to provide for, educate, care for, and protect your child. Children are an extraordinary blessing from God.

Sadly, not every father understands how important their role is in a child's growth. They think, “I have already worked hard to meet all my child's needs, and that is enough. Taking care of the child, helping with homework, attending certain events, or going out with the child is the mother's job.”

This is clearly a mistaken view. Your child needs a father figure. So, do not feel bothered or dismissive when your child whines because they want to do something with you, their father. A father's role in (parenting) is just as important as a mother's role.

As fathers, we hurt our children's hearts by breaking promises, not listening when they pour out their feelings, or throwing out harsh and belittling words. We also hurt our children when we are more absorbed in checking our phones than accompanying them while they study, when we prioritize work and refuse to go with them to school events. We forget that money can be earned, but time with our children will never come back.

If at this time your child's behavior or speech is a problem, lead and guide them. If the child must be disciplined, then give discipline with firmness, not violence. Do not let old age come, after your children are grown, and leave you full of regret because you did not lead your sons and daughters in the truth of God's Word.

Teach your child, again and again, to practice the various positive habits that you practice. Do not expect your child to live rightly if you yourself do not live out what you teach (have integrity). Let your child's heart trust that you love them and lead them to live rightly. No matter how angry you are in a certain unpleasant situation, master yourself and do not vent your anger on your child.

3. Honor Your Parents (Ephesians 6:2-3)

Honor your father and mother, which is an important command, as shown by this promise: that it may go well with you and that you may live long on the earth. – Ephesians 6:2-3

Without your parents, you would not have been born into this world. So honor your father and mother, whatever their character and condition may be. A spiritual family leader honors his parents. Remember, if God is pleased to give us a long life, we too will grow old and need much help just as our parents do now.

By honoring our parents, we not only receive the blessing of happiness and long life, but also honor and love from our children. Children see our example in how we treat their grandparents. If we honor, serve, patiently, and diligently care for our parents, surely that is the kind of treatment we will later receive from our children.

Love and honor, these are your main capital for becoming a spiritual family leader. Love your wife as Christ loves His church. Cherish your child by not hurting their heart, and raise them in the teaching of the Lord. And honor your parents. In this way, you can build a family that fears the Lord and is blessed physically and spiritually. Amen! - Church GKDI is currently present in 35 cities. We have Bible Study activities in every area; if you need information or would like to get involved, contact us at contact Church GKDI Official: WhatsApp 0821 2285 8686 or Facebook / Instagram GKDI Official

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