5 Lies We Tell Ourselves Every Day

Admit it: you lied to yourself today.

Life is complicated, relationships can grow strained, loneliness creeps in, and sometimes we feel the need to bend the truth just to make it through this week. We hope those lies will bury our pain deep enough that it cannot reach us. The deceitfulness of the heart makes it easy for us to tolerate lies (Jeremiah 17:9) until finally, they are cut open by God's scalpel (Psalm 139:23).

Yet these lies do not only cover up pain. They also hinder the growth of our faith and our relationships with others. We become numb to pain and no longer see the damage it causes.

To avoid that, we must see what lies behind all these falsehoods. We need to identify them and call them by name.

Do you see one of these five lies in yourself today?

Lie 1: I’m Fine

We do not like digging into ourselves and examining what is going on in our souls. Why? Because once we start looking, we often find areas that need major renovation. That would be troublesome, and most of us are too busy to notice what needs to be repaired.

So we fasten the superhero cape called “I’m fine” tightly around us and keep moving. Then when tragedy strikes, only then do we realize that we are not fine.

This is not the biblical way. The psalmists continually asked God to search, test, and examine their hearts, so that He could do the spiritual renovation work they needed (Psalms 11, 17, and 26).

This is roughly the kind of attitude that accords with God’s Word:

“Let us examine and test our ways, and return to the LORD.” – Lamentations 3:40

Indeed, admitting every day that we are not fine and that we need God’s help may feel frightening. Because that means we must acknowledge our weaknesses and work hard to practice regular self-examination. Thankfully, the Lord is an expert in weakness, especially when we are not sure where to begin.

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know how we ought to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” – Romans 8:26

We are weak, but He is strong. That is the truth.

Lie 2: No One Will Know

When we look for justification to do something foolish, it usually starts here: No one will know.

True, there are a thousand variations of it, but nearly all of them are tied to anonymity. This is why private browsing mode on the internet and personal devices like phones and tablets can become the most dangerous tools known to humanity. That does not mean they are bad, but these ‘personal’ devices always have weaknesses.

No one knows I watch this.

No one will know if I stop by here while I’m on a business trip.

No one will know if I post this hurtful comment without my real name.

No one will know.

Know this, there is no such thing as true anonymity in this world. What we do in secret often has a way of being found out and exposed. (Just look at the news about websites being hacked by hackers.)

But more importantly, God is able to bring the sin of “no one will know” to the surface, and not a single one escapes Him.

“You have set our iniquities before You, our secret sins in the light of Your presence.” – Psalm 90:8

Day after day, we let this lie degrade us and draw us away from His plan. God knows, He has always known the foolish things we do.

Yet God still loves us.

“But God shows His love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8

You cannot hide … and you do not need to hide from Him.

Lie 3: No One Will Get Hurt

This one could be called Lie 2b, because the two are similar. As if it were not enough that “no one will know,” we also love convincing ourselves that “no one will get hurt.”

If this only happens behind closed doors …

If this only involves two consenting adults … everything will be fine.

But what we really mean is, “No one is getting hurt right now.”

Often, we are unwilling to trace the chain of problems over the long term. What we fail to take into account are the spiritual consequences, or problems that seem faint at first but will peak later on.

We also forget to reckon with the fact that God grieves and is wounded by our bad choices. His heart was grieved by human sin before the flood (Genesis 6:6), Israel’s rebellion (Isaiah 63:10). Jesus longed to gather God’s children, but they refused Him (Matthew 23:37).

In other words, our sins always cause grief and pain. And that happens to the One we should be delighting.

Lie 4: This Is Just How I Am

One of the easiest ways to deal with destructive patterns in our lives is to accept them as an unchangeable part of who we are. Whether we see them as a component of our character or as something impossible to fix, this lie helps us avoid responsibility. After all, we cannot stop it because it is rooted in us.

What this really means is that we find it hard to admit that God is the One who designed us. That we were created in His image, to live and become like God (Genesis 1:27, 1 John 3:2).

Yes, we may stumble from time to time in our effort to become creatures who reflect His image. But when we say, “Well, that’s just how I am,” we are saying that God made a mess of us or is overwhelmed by our struggles.

We think God cannot change us.

Thankfully, we are wrong.

God is skilled at remaking what is broken into a new creation.

Your struggles are real. Acknowledge that first. They are miserable; they hurt and they make a mess of your life. Once you accept that, only then can you begin the long and painful process of becoming like Christ.

Always remember this promise:

“And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work among you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1:6

God will not give up halfway just because you are such a mess or a special case. He always finishes His work.

We only need to admit the problem before asking for and pursuing that change.

Lie 5: I Can Do That Tomorrow

Tomorrow will be the time to study the Bible, the time for quiet time, the time to go to counseling.

I’ll tell my spouse about it tomorrow.

Maybe tomorrow I will be honest with God.

More often than not, tomorrow never comes. Even in the midst of misery caused by bad choices in life, we are reluctant to make a change today. We wait for a more suitable moment, when it will not feel so hard to do.

That is why the psalmists and the writer of Hebrews make sure we stay focused on today:

“Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says: "Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts …” (Psalm 39, Hebrews 3)

Promising yourself that you will make a change tomorrow may make you feel better about today’s failure. But it will not make any difference. We must remember that the price of not being committed to change today is very costly.

“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called "today," so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” – Hebrews 3:13

We do not even know whether we still have tomorrow, but we do know we have this moment. And God is faithful right now as well.

“He will also strengthen you to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with His Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.” – 1 Corinthians 1:8-9