When Our Child Is Different, Here’s How to Respond

Every child is born different, both in strengths and weaknesses. No two are exactly alike. Some love to talk, make friends, and have strong desires. Yet others are quiet, shy, and seem to have a world of their own.

Perhaps child was also born with physical limitations. They may look different from their peers. Those differences, whether in character, strengths, weaknesses, or appearance, can make us, as parents, worried.

The question is, how should we respond to that? How do we raise a child who is different?

Accepting a Different Child

A close friend of mine has experience raising a child who is different. Not physically different, but experiencing delayed speech. Until the age of 6, my friend's child rarely spoke. When asked something, he seemed unfocused and not listening. 

At first my friend felt sad because his child rarely spoke. However, this friend of mine did not give up. Diligently, he and his wife patiently taught their child. Several times, their child was enrolled in speech therapy. They never belittled, condemned, or scolded him with harsh words. When their child's behavior needed correction, my friend would discipline him wisely. 

After going through several therapy sessions, the child began to speak. He started being able to answer when someone asked him something. The Lord's grace is truly amazing; now their child speaks fluently and interacts with other people.

Our Attitude in Facing a Different Child

The attitude of parents in treating a child will greatly affect that child's development. This also applies to the child who seems different. 

The following are the attitudes we should have in facing a child:

1. Believe that Every Child Is Special

Parents may feel jealous when comparing their child with others. Questions may arise within us, “Why is my child not like other children ?” Other children are very confident, talkative, and active. My child is quiet and shy.”

It is understandable if we feel that way. However, how much better it would be if we saw every child as special or precious. Is not every person unique, born with their own strengths and weaknesses?

Psalm 139:13-14 For You formed my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

Like the Psalm above, our child is not one of God's creations by accident. The existence of our child has been designed so carefully and perfectly by the Father. All the strengths and weaknesses of our child do not lessen how special our child is.

When parents see a child as one of God's special creations, we can accept and appreciate the whole person and physical being of our child . 

2. Remain Patient with Your Child

It cannot be denied that facing a child who is different requires a great deal of patience. Sometimes we feel ungrateful, complain about our child's shortcomings, and face our child with anger. That is when we need to exercise self-control and manage our emotions.

James 1:19 My beloved brothers, remember this: let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry;

You may feel relieved when you vent your anger at your child. However, that is not the way our God desires. The verse above says that we should not be quick to anger. It is better for us to listen and try to understand more deeply what our child is facing. Perhaps they do not know how to express their needs and desires. Or perhaps they have not found a pattern of guidance that fits their particular condition.

Therefore, it is only right that we remain patient and not quickly become emotional when dealing with our child. Especially if it leads us to speak harsh words that wound our child's heart.

Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 

Being patient with a child will give a sense of security and spur the good potential of the child to grow even more. 

3. Develop a Child’s Potential and Strengths

Like the friend I told you about above, he did not focus on his child's shortcomings. Instead, it was his child's strengths and interests that he developed. My friend enrolled his child in various lessons, such as drawing and swimming. As a result, his child enjoyed life more and discovered his own potential. 

Matthew 25:16, 18 At once the servant who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and gained five more.

But the servant who had received one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground, and hid his master’s money.

The two verses above describe two kinds of behavior in developing the talents God has given. One develops them until they are multiplied. Yet another does not develop them at all.

Our role as parents is to discover, draw out, and develop the potential and interests of our child . This will help our child’s potential grow further, and help determine their future profession. 

One way is to let your child try various fields. Then, find which area is especially loved and mastered by our child . Most likely, that is their talent and potential. The next step is that we can develop that potential through suitable lessons or courses. 

Remember, every child surely has strengths. Parents need to develop them.

God Has a Plan for Every Child

Even though different, our child is still a blessing and gift from God. Believe that our child was not accidentally born into our family! Regardless of their weaknesses and shortcomings, God surely has a beautiful plan for our child .

Our role is to teach, develop our child’s strengths and potential, and lead our child to know the Creator. Even if a child

is different, we must still raise them according to the will of our Father in heaven. - Related Articles:

• Parent Seminar: How to Raise a Competent & Confident Child
• Parents’ Love: Prioritizing the Heart, Not Appearance
• Do These 7 Signs of a Happy Family Already Exist in Your Family?
• A Harmonious Family Does Not Fall from the Sky
• Children: A Hindrance or an Encouragement in Serving God?

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