Why Do We Need to Stop Blaming Others?

Pause for a moment and think about this: when something unpleasant happens, what is the easiest thing to do? Most likely, blame someone else. “Because of you, my life is a mess.” Or, “Because of them, my life is miserable!”

Blaming others for something we experience is indeed easy. We do not need to take responsibility, because it is not our fault. However, did you know that mistakes do not always happen because of other people? 

There are times when you make mistakes. Sometimes hardship happens outside our control. And sometimes because it is not God's will, something does not happen the way you want. 

Stop Blaming, Start Learning

James 3:2a For we all stumble in many ways; 

Many factors cause things to happen in your life. Here is an example. 

You are riding a motorcycle, and suddenly you crash into a tree on the road. Maybe because the road has potholes, your motorcycle slips and speeds out of control. Or you are riding too fast, so you do not see the road clearly. 

Will you scold the tree, asking why it grew there? 

Or will you accept that there was a part of you that caused it all to happen, and promise to be more careful?

If you are looking for an easy solution, of course the first option looks appealing. However, if you want to grow into a better person, you will choose the second. Why? Because the accident gives you a valuable lesson. Going forward, you can certainly ride better.

So, stop blaming others and look at what you can learn. If you choose to blame someone else, how will you learn to do something better and do what is right? 

To see this more clearly, let us look at the Bible figure below.

King Saul: “It Was Not My Fault”

If there is a figure in the Bible who shifted blame onto others, then King Saul ranks first.

In 1 Samuel 13:1-13, it is told that Saul was in Gilgal, waiting for Samuel to come and renew his position as king. On the seventh day, the day Samuel had promised, the Philistines had gathered to fight against Israel. Meanwhile Samuel still had not come. The people were under pressure; they were trapped and scattered, leaving Saul. 

Then Saul said, “Bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings.” It says that he then offered the burnt offering. Not long afterward Samuel came, and Saul greeted him.

“What have you done?” Samuel asked.

This is where Saul shifted the blame onto others. Saul gave 3 reasons why he had no other choice but to disobey

1. The people were scattering (not Saul's fault)
2. Samuel still had not come (not Saul's fault)
3. The Philistines had closed in (not Saul's fault)

Based on those three things, Saul said that he was forced to offer the sacrifice. Basically he was saying, “This is not my fault. This happened because I had no choice.”

How did Samuel respond?

1 Samuel 13:13 Samuel said to Saul: “You have done a foolish thing. You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; had you done so, the LORD would have established your kingdom over Israel forever.”

Saul did not follow God's command. That is what mattered most. God never justified Saul's actions. What God wanted from Saul was his obedience, his submission, even in a time of pressure.

As a consequence, Saul was removed from his position as king. In the end, God chose someone else who pleased His heart.

From Saul's story, we can learn that blaming other people or circumstances is not justified by God. Saul could not see his own fault. His habit of blaming others showed that Saul had no regret for violating God's command. In 1 Samuel 15, once again Saul disobeyed God's command and made other excuses.

What about you today? Are you like Saul? Always shifting blame onto situations or other people? Stop blaming others, and try to look within yourself. Admit your mistakes, so that going forward you can become better.

Stop making excuses. Or looking for a scapegoat. Stop and reflect for a moment. Try to evaluate what you have done: “What has been wrong and mistaken in me?” How can it not happen again in the future? What is God's plan for your life in the middle of that unpleasant situation? What response does God want from you? 

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, so that He will forgive all our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

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In closing, blaming other people or circumstances does not help you. Stop blaming, start reflecting. Take responsibility for the things that happen in this life. Surely, you will grow a great deal. You can gain a new perspective on life, and become more mature in facing problems.

Keep going, you can do it!

Related Articles:

• Loving the Truth – Loving Those Who Are Hard to Love
• Pointing Fingers
• 5 Reasons Why You Should Forgive as Soon as Possible
• 6 Ways to Find Happiness in Life
• Happy Words on the Hill: Can They Really Make You Happy?

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