Prone to Taking Things Personally or Afraid of It? 3 Wise Ways to Handle Your Feelings

Being overly sensitive or taking things personally means involving feelings too much in responding to something. So, being overly sensitive is not only about romance, even though it is often associated with that.

Through a survey I conducted with 31 people, 42% of respondents considered themselves not to be overly sensitive. Interestingly, almost all respondents thought that being overly sensitive is not a good thing. Even the respondents who considered themselves overly sensitive held the same opinion. 

Everyone is endowed with feelings and logic. The difference lies in which side is more dominant. And, I believe God created both of these aspects for good. So then, is being overly sensitive bad? And, how should we respond to our feelings wisely?

Through the following three points, I invite you to recognize and manage your feelings based on the Bible.

1. Accept Your Feelings Naturally

Some people do not like being overly sensitive because they are afraid of being avoided in social circles. Others let their feelings take over completely, for example feeling down for one week without leaving their room. On the other hand, some people feel uncomfortable dealing with overly sensitive individuals, while others accept them. 

The things above describe unhealthy responses toward feelings, both toward ourselves and toward others. I am one of those people who do not like being overly sensitive. For me, it is such a hassle to have to manage my feelings, while my mind knows what I ought to do

However, let us learn from Jesus' own words:

All those the Father gives Me will come to Me, and whoever comes to Me I will never cast out. - John 6:37 TB

Understanding how God loves us is the first step so that we can accept our own feelings naturally. God loves and accepts us as we are in His grace, regardless of whether others accept us. It does not matter whether you are a feeling-oriented person or someone who relies more on logic, as long as you can accept yourself as you are. 

I myself have to learn to accept my feelings naturally. That means I do not reject or deny my feelings, but I also do not let my feelings rule me. “It’s okay to be sad, but remember that God loves you just the way you are.” That is what I remember whenever I have to manage my feelings.

On the other hand, for those of you who tend to rely on logic, understand this: you also have feelings. At times, you too can get “carried away by your feelings,” but accept those feelings naturally. 

God did not create feelings to destroy you, but to build you up. So, do not forget to keep praying during the difficult times you are going through. Know that God wants to hear your story.

2. Do Not Bottle Them Up, but Share Them

In the short survey I conducted, the majority of respondents said they do not like overly sensitive people. Some thought they are selfish, immature, hard to befriend, and even hinder life. Respondents also tended to feel uncomfortable when interacting with overly sensitive people, although some did not mind. 

Whether we realize it or not, the way people respond to being “overly sensitive” makes us afraid to express our feelings. I often meet people who are reluctant to talk about their feelings because they are worried about being called overly sensitive. I have felt that way too, especially when I know I am the only one in a group who is more dominated by feelings.

Besides accepting your feelings, telling others about your feelings is just as necessary. Do not let yourself become burdened because you keep your problems to yourself. Many cases of suicide (even affecting people we thought were living happy lives!) happen because of depression caused by inner pressure. 

Jesus Himself needed to pour out His heart to His disciples when He knew He was about to be arrested. 

And He took Peter, James, and John with Him. He began to be deeply distressed and troubled. Then He said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and keep watch.” – Mark 14:33-34

From this we know that even though Jesus is God, He also had a need to tell others about His feelings. Talking about your feelings does not mean you are showing weakness, but sharing the burden so that you do not carry it alone. Jesus’ example of being genuine encourages me to learn to share my feelings when I am going through difficulties. 

Whether you are more driven by logic or by feelings, you can help and be helped by others in managing feelings. Talking to people who can direct your heart to God's love will train you to have a healthy mindset. I am grateful to have found a community that is willing to accept me and direct my feelings to God, so that I continue to live in truth.

3. Evaluate, Then Act!

People who are “overly sensitive” tend to sink into their feelings without following up on the problem they are facing. And often, they become even sadder because the problem remains unresolved. So, if you are someone who easily gets “carried away by your feelings,” remember that a problem needs to be solved, not merely dwelt on.  

The temptations you experience are common to mankind. But God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. When you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. – 1 Corinthians 10:13

God provides a way out of every problem you face, but you also need to evaluate that problem thoroughly. Whatever you can still improve, start improving it. If you want to get out of your problem, step toward the “exit door.” Without evaluation and action, there is no solution. 

The fear of failure often haunts people who are “overly sensitive” when they have to take a step. For that reason, begin by deciding to believe that God will be with you through every process of resolving your problem You may need other people's help to discuss the solution. Ora et labora—pray while striving, until you find a way out of your problem. 

Feelings and logic were created by God for a good purpose. So, rather than letting “being overly sensitive” lead us to destructive things, it is better to “bring our feelings” to God and learn to manage them wisely. Give it a try!

-/blog/hikmat

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