What You Value Is What You Will Have - Part 1

What are the things you consider important in your married life? Do you realize that the bad things present in your marriage are indirectly there because you allow them to come in? It all comes from what you tolerate; the things you consider important will be present, and the things you do not consider important will be absent. Here is an example:

1. We will not give any tolerance to things that would damage the honesty between us.
2. Therefore, both of us will actively do the things that keep the value of honesty present and even growing in our marriage.

In 1 Samuel 26:24 in the NIV, it says, "As surely as I valued your life today, so may the Lord value my life and deliver me from all trouble." The word "value" used here comes from Hebrew, meaning to make large, to lift up, or to magnify.

The values embraced in a marriage relationship will become that marriage's identity. Like the foundation and frame of a house...these things will shape what your marriage becomes.

The Worst Value in a Marriage

How many married people hope to have happiness? Of course, most would answer that way. But do you know that this is the worst value you can adopt in your marriage? Why is that? Because "happiness" is actually the fruit of hard work. Marriage requires a lot of hard work, period. Happiness is aresult), if a married couple succeeds in growing through the right kind of character work (character work). Character work usually gets the opportunity to grow through difficult circumstances, conflicts, fears, rejection, and even traumas from the past. If a married couple successfully goes through moments like these and grows in character, then happiness will certainly become one of the rewards.

But what if happiness becomes the value you hold? Can you guess what happens when unhappy moments come instead? It is possible that the couple may regret the decision to marry and look for the fastest way to obtain some other happiness. Will their character grow? Will their acceptance grow? Will their respect grow? Will their wisdom grow? Will their relationship grow? Of course not!

The truth is that when we do not feel happy or comfortable, it means something good is happening. Perhaps you and your spouse are being brought to a point of crisis that demands growth. Most likely, that crisis will actually become a clue to what is wrong in your life and your spouse's life. If you can learn from that crisis, it will transform your married life.

That is why James 1:2-4 says, "My brothers and sisters, count it all joy whenever you fall into various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing."

When you run into marriage problems, happiness will not be present at that moment. But the message from James strengthens us by showing that it is an opportunity for life-changing growth, an opportunity to gain "wholeness," so that in the end the relationship will, step by step, become more complete...so that we will lack nothing.

A person who cares only about happiness rather than growth can be compared to someone who crashes their car into a tree because they still do not know how to drive properly. But in the end, what they do is replace the car with another one rather than improve their driving ability. Of course, the same thing will happen again.

If unhappiness is visiting your marriage, do not rush to think that you married the wrong person, much less think about changing partners. Thoughts like these are the devil's deception so that you fall into the sin of adultery, whose effects will be far more painful. You simply need to learn how to improve the way you "drive" this marriage.

So what values should we hold as a married couple so that our relationship can stand on a strong foundation? There are 6 values we can summarize based on the Bible, namely:

1. Love of God
2. Love of your spouse
3. Honesty
4. Faithfulness
5. Compassion and forgiveness
6. Holiness

Each of these values will be discussed in the following articles. If at this point you agree to fight for the right values, that means you are ready to stand against anything that could destroy your relationship with your spouse. This is what is called righteous indignation (righteous indignation). Give your focus, energy, and everything you and your spouse have to grow in love for God, love for your spouse, honesty, faithfulness, compassion and forgiveness, and holiness. In the end, these things will never disappoint.

*Church GKDI is currently in 35 cities. We have Bible Study activities in every area; if you need information or would like to get involved, contact us at contact Church GKDI Official: WhatsApp 0821 2285 8686 or Facebook / Instagram GKDI Official