Have You Helped Yourself?

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the phrase “helping yourself?” It may not be a familiar concept to us. Why should we help ourselves? And what happens if we do not do it?

The Thrown Life Buoy

Once upon a time, there was a shipwreck that claimed many lives. Some died, but others were still struggling to save themselves. Not long after, a rescue team arrived in a helicopter, intending to throw down life buoys as first aid.

In your opinion, to whom would the rescue team throw the life buoys first? To the people who were still raising their hands and asking for help? Or to those who were no longer raising their hands?

Logically, the rescue team would throw the life buoys to those in the first category: people raising their hands for help. The victims who were still alive would surely fight to save themselves.

Based on the illustration above, we know that everyone basically has the will to fight to help themselves. This does not mean we do not need help or input from others. Asking for advice is one way we help ourselves so we do not take a wrong step. Do not let something we think can help instead “throw us into a ravine.”

Make Every Effort

What often becomes a problem is that we always want to be helped, but are reluctant to move to help ourselves.

“Pray for me, okay, so I can recover quickly.” But we are too lazy to go to the doctor or do not take our medicine regularly.

“Introduce me to your friends, so I can have a boyfriend/girlfriend.” But every time there is an activity hang out together or get together, we do not want to join.

“God, help me get a good grade on my exam.” But we do not want to study.

You ask other people for a solution, then are given technical advice, but you do nothing. You do not do what was advised. Everything other people say or recommend ends up being useless because you do not want to help yourself.

For this very reason you must make every effort to add to your faith goodness, and to goodness knowledge, and to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, and to perseverance godliness, and to godliness brotherly affection, and to brotherly affection love for all people. – 2 Peter 1:5-7

Being helped and helping yourself must go hand in hand. In the English version, the bolded words are written as “make every effort,” which means we must truly make an effort, not just relax and wait for help to come. Indeed, this verse specifically speaks about salvation. However, of course this also applies to other things we need to fight for in life.

Help Yourself, and You Will Be Helped

After losing her husband and son in Moab, Naomi and her daughter-in-law, Ruth, returned to Judah. However, they came back empty-handed, without land or possessions. They both had many reasons to grieve and reflect on their fate. Yet that was not what they did. As soon as they arrived in Naomi’s hometown, Ruth immediately went to work gleaning barley in other people’s fields.

Then Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, "Please let me go to the field and gather ears of barley behind someone who is kind to me." And Naomi said to her, "Go, my daughter." – Ruth 2:2 

Ruth did not remain still, weeping over her circumstances. She worked to support her own life and the life of her mother-in-law. Because of her kindness and diligence, Ruth received Boaz’s favor, the owner of the field, so that she could continue gleaning barley on his land. It did not stop there; according to Naomi’s advice, Ruth strove so that the two of them could be redeemed by their relative. In the end, Ruth was redeemed by Boaz, who then took her as his wife, and later she became David’s grandmother, part of Jesus’ family line.

Imagine if Ruth had chosen to sit around and only hope that others would struggle for her. Perhaps the ending of her story would not have been that good.

If today you are facing an unpleasant situation or a situation you want to change, remember this: you have a choice to help yourself. When you struggle, others will also struggle for you. Help yourself first, so that others can help you.  

Another Way to Help Yourself

Helping yourself does not always have to take the form of actively striving. There are times when waiting patiently and remaining obedient, even when it feels unreasonable, becomes a way to help yourself.

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. She had an Egyptian female servant whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said to Abram: "You know that the LORD has kept me from bearing children. Therefore, please go in to my servant; perhaps through her I may obtain a child." And Abram listened to the words of Sarai. – Genesis 16:1-2

In this case, Sarah would have helped herself if only she had patiently waited for God’s promise. Her initiative toward Abraham did not make the situation better, but instead made it even more chaotic.

There are certain things that require us to be patient and wait, because in that way, we are actually helping ourselves. For example:

• Not resolving problems or relationship conflicts through chatting (even though it looks faster, this risks creating more problems)
• Not being reactive or quick-tempered when people speak rudely or harshly to us
• Patiently waiting for the red light to turn green even when we are in a hurry
• Not rashly choosing a life partner of a different faith, simply because we are impatient waiting for God’s promise to be fulfilled
• Not using shortcuts (bribing) when taking care of official administrative matters

Different cases require different handling. In Ruth’s case, she helped herself by actively striving. In Sarah’s case, she had to wait for the fulfillment of God’s promise. In a number of other cases, we may have to apply both actively striving, while still patiently waiting for the outcome.

So then, how can we know which way is the most appropriate to take?

Wisdom to Discern

“… for in Him are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” – Colossians 2:3

God is the source of all wisdom. By His wisdom, our universe was created exceedingly well and systematically. God is also a God who is not stingy in sharing His wisdom with us (James 1:5).

We can obtain God’s wisdom in His Word. Read it and reflect on its contents, so that you may become a wiser person. From His Word, we know what must be done and what must not or may not be done. In addition, pray and ask God for wisdom and guidance. Exchange thoughts also with people who are more mature, experienced, and whom you can trust.

In helping yourself, do what is in accordance with God’s will. When you must struggle, struggle. When you must wait, wait patiently. When you must do both, do them wholeheartedly. Make every effort, and persevere in prayer so that God may grant what your heart desires. Do your best and let God do the rest! -