Want to Move On from Heartbreak? Eliminate These 3 Negative Thoughts

Heartbreak, whatever the reason, is certainly painful. Being rejected or betrayed by someone you love can leave deep wounds, especially if the two of you have been in a relationship for a long time. The person who has been giving you love, completing you, and supporting you, suddenly leaves or hurts you. Then you feel as though you have lost everything.

Why does heartbreak feel so painful? According to scientific research, increased brain activity when we experience pain, whether physical or emotional, occurs in the same area. So it is clear that the pain caused by heartbreak cannot be taken lightly. Moreover, its effects can be felt over the long term, for example in the form of trauma or depression.

Such is the great impact of heartbreak that a person’s thoughts and emotions can become unstable. When this happens, it is easy for negative thoughts to disrupt the stability of your life, and even distort the way you view relationships. Even so, that does not mean you are powerless to face it or unable to rise again.

For that reason, recognize the three negative thoughts that most often arise because of heartbreak, and how to overcome them:

Thought 1: I Am Not Worthy

Heartbreak can make you lose your self-worth or sense of worth. So many beautiful moments and good memories with that person, and then suddenly everything disappears. You yourself become the first one to be blamed.

This happens because you feel that your partner is a perfect person, and that they also made you feel perfect. When they disappear, you feel that you are the cause. “Maybe this is what I deserve,” you think. “Of course they should be with someone more beautiful / handsome / smart / strong. Not with me.”

The truth is:

You are still precious. Even though that person is no longer with you, your worth has not decreased one bit. God sees you as His dearly loved child. Whether single or in a relationship, your value is just as great in His eyes. Nothing can diminish your worth!

For You formed my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. – Psalm 139:13,14

The writer of the psalm realized that his creation was God’s miracle. He knit us together in our mother’s womb, because we are so special. From this we can conclude that we are precious in God’s sight, no matter what our condition is or what we are like. Whether we are single, dating, or married, it does not change the way He sees us.

Thought 2: If Only I Had …

The pain of heartbreak can bring up deep sadness . You feel weak and hopeless. In this condition, your mind is driven to create alternative scenarios in which you are able to control the situation. This often takes shape in phrases like:

“I should have been more attentive.”

“If only I had fought harder back then.”

“I should have replied to all their chats.”

And so on, one imaginary situation after another repeats in your mind as though by thinking about it, the outcome would be different.

The truth is:

What has already passed cannot return. What’s done is done. This sounds bitter and harsh, but the fact is, that person has become your past . It is indeed not easy to accept this reality, that you are on your own again. However, in order to move forward, you must stop looking back.

There Is a Time for Everything. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” Perhaps right now you are losing something, but believe that one day you will receive something better.

Thought 3: What Will My Future Be Like?

Finding a life partner is not an instant matter. Building a relationship takes a process. Some people easily find a partner. Some have to struggle for a long time before their love is returned. Many also go through one wrong relationship after another before finally finding the one.

It is not impossible for heartbreak to give rise to thoughts like:

“What if no one wants me anymore?”

“What will people say about me? A person who failed to build a relationship?”

“Why do my relationships keep failing? Could it be that I am destined never to marry?”

The truth is:

If you feel this way, know that God is not finished with you yet. God has many beautiful plans that He is preparing for you, as long as you trust and stand firm. As long as you can still see the morning sun, hope is still there.

Hold on to what is written in Proverbs 23:18: “Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” Remember also Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for peace and not for disaster, to give you a future full of hope.”

Set Your Life in Order Again: Place Your Security in God

Heartbreak can give birth to despair, which must immediately be driven from your mind. Do not spend too long pitying yourself or feeling that the world has ended, because that will not help you. How can you break free from negative thoughts?

First of all, focus on rebuilding your life after that heartache has passed. Begin by drawing near to God and strengthening your relationship with Him. If the quality of your relationship with God is good, you will be far more ready to begin a new relationship.

Second, read His Word and study verses about how precious you are in God’s sight.

If we look more deeply, negative thoughts actually come from the sense of security you have placed in the wrong place, namely your ex. When you place your security in God, thoughts like that will not cross your mind. Instead, you will realize that you are growing, learning, and seeing that God is working through this event for your good. - Rather than being busy thinking about what has already passed, it is better for you to focus on building the future. Take time to evaluate the cause of the failure of your relationship. Examine yourself: What do I need to change so that I do not repeat the same mistakes in the future? What do I need to do to find a good partner?

Drowning in heartbreak is not an option. Life must go on! There is no better choice than to rise up and begin putting your life back in order. It may not be easy at first, but believe this: with God, you will surely be able to do it. Amen!

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Reference: www.idntimes.com/science/discovery/sinta-wijayanti-d/yang-terjadi-pada-otak-ketika-patah-hati-c1c2/6

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