Loving Those Who Hurt Us, Is It Possible?

I used to be very proud of my life principle: “If you are good to me, I will be even better to you. But if you hurt me, I can hurt you even more.” I thought that was a fair principle. Goodness repaid with goodness, evil repaid with evil.

Not only that, I also found it easy to hold grudges. “Don’t you dare hurt me, because I will never forgive you. No matter how long it takes, I will never forget what you did to me.”

Perhaps right now you have thoughts similar to the ones I used to have. But are such principles and behavior in line with God’s word? What should we do toward those who hurt us?

The Fact Is: Loving Really Isn’t Easy

It must be admitted, loving someone who has hurt us is not easy. Let alone loving them, we may not even be willing to forgive them. Most of us choose to hate and hold grudges. Some even recklessly take revenge in evil ways, whether through actions or black magic, so they can hurt that person.

The question is, what reward do you gain after succeeding in getting back at that person? Does your life become more peaceful and happy?

Before you think about doing it, try reflecting on these three things below:

Keep Loving

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you; bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” – Luke 6:27-28 

What Jesus teaches is truly different from what the world teaches. In the past, every time I read the verse above, I thought how impossible it was to do. I could still accept Jesus’ other teachings. But His teaching to love my enemies, those who hated, insulted, and hurt me, seemed ridiculous and unreasonable.

Unexpectedly, when I made the decision to submit and obey God’s command, I felt extraordinary relief. Indeed, our relationship was never the same again, and that person still does not speak to me. But I succeeded in defeating the hatred in my heart, and that was a beautiful victory! For the first time, I did what was right, what God wanted, instead of following my heart’s urge to take revenge.

Jesus’ teaching on this is simple: love them, do good, bless, and pray for those who hurt you. By responding with love, you actually gain something far more beautiful and valuable for yourself than what you get from revenge. Surely, you can do it.

Do Not Expect Anything in Return

For if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 

And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend without expecting anything in return. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.” 

– Luke 6:33-35

What is it that makes you feel hurt? If you are honest, isn’t it because you have certain expectations of that person? You expect that person to treat you as well as you have treated them.

Or, you expect your efforts, your struggles, or your kindness to be appreciated, but all of it is seen as meaningless in that person’s eyes. It may also be that you expected that person to love and accept you because you had fulfilled their wishes or given what they asked for. Another possibility is that the person you hoped would be your rescuer turned out instead to harm you.

Whatever your reason for hating and holding a grudge against the person who hurt you, the truth is that you are hurt because you expected something in return from them: respect, gratitude, appreciation, acceptance, affection, help, and the like.

Jesus teaches us not to expect anything in return. When we do good but are repaid with evil, do not become angry, feel offended, or want to settle the score ourselves. Even people who do not know God, even the most sinful or cruel criminal, would do such things. So, what then distinguishes us as Christians from those people?

What reward is there for actions done with selfish motives? None. Because God does not count goodness that expects something in return.

Fight Hatred with Love

If you focus on the behavior of the person who hurt you, their words, their evil, their insults, or their cruelty, you will find it hard to love them. You may hate the sin, but do not hate the person.

Holding on to hatred will only make you suffer. When you are hurt and then hurt others in return, you will never be satisfied. Your life becomes controlled by vengeance, wounded feelings, and anger. You do not experience peace.

Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs. – Proverbs 10:12 

One way to love is by speaking the truth in love. Perhaps this is not an easy thing, but you must do it. What is it that makes you hate that person? Is there an issue that has not been resolved? If we simply ignore it and do not settle it, over time your hatred may fade. However, when you communicate again and if one day you have another conflict with that person, that bitterness will resurface and may even grow.

Ask how they feel, where you were at fault, and resolve the problem. Find out how you can speak the truth in love through the following link. By doing that, your relationship with that person can become much better.

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (Ephesians 4:15 – NIV)

Above all, love one another deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. – 1 Peter 4:8

Jesus wants us to love those who hurt us so that we may receive relief, victory, and peace. And that peace comes from our obedience. Let us learn together to love our enemies and fight hatred with love. God bless you! - Church GKDI is currently present in 35 cities. We have Bible Study activities in every area; if you need information or would like to get involved, contact us at contact Church GKDI Official: WhatsApp 0821 2285 8686 or Facebook / Instagram GKDI Official

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