Learning to Forgive Parents

Learning to Forgive Parents

Being born an only child does not guarantee that someone will have a beautiful childhood. Little Rachel grew up while watching her parents quarrel and had no sweet memories with them. 

Besides being unwilling to compromise, the way her parents raised her was often marked by verbal and nonverbal violence. Her father set a strict curfew and would not accept lateness for any reason. Once, simply because she came home late after working on a group assignment, Rachel was physically punished in front of her friends. 

Rachel’s mother, who was suffering because of problems in the household, also often vented her frustration on Rachel with hurtful words. She even once said she did not care if something happened to her child.

Those bitter childhood memories made Rachel promise in her heart that she would never depend on anyone except herself. Rachel grew up becoming deeply bitter toward her parents. She hated them and could not forgive what they had done. 

As she grew older, that hatred only became stronger. Rachel, who now works at a well-known company, lives far from her family. One time, during a Sunday service, the pastor at her church preached about forgiveness. Feeling pierced by the message, Rachel stopped going to church, because she knew she needed to forgive her parents according to Jesus’ teaching, but she was unable to do it.

After being away from worship for more than a year, Rachel quietly prayed. She felt lost and did not know how to have a close relationship with God again.

In November 2018, a sister named Titin invited her to come to worship. Rachel, who accepted Titin’s invitation out of politeness, ended up attending two services. However, she planned to make the second one her last and not come again after that.

Unexpectedly, the sermon in that second service stirred Rachel’s heart. The preacher that day said, “It is not a coincidence that you enter a new community and meet new people. God surely has a plan. So, do not be too quick to decide to leave before finding out what God’s plan is.”

After the service, Rachel immediately expressed her desire to study God’s word more deeply. She was curious about what she could gain from this community, as well as what God’s plan was for her life. 

So it was that on January 6, 2019, Rachel resumed her Bible studies. When learning about the cross of Christ, Rachel felt broken. She was ashamed because the suffering she had experienced was nothing compared to what Jesus experienced. Rachel, who had felt that she was the person who suffered most in the whole world, felt justified in hating the people who had hurt her. In contrast, Jesus, who had the power to retaliate and resist, chose not to use His power for that.

At that point, Rachel realized how unwise it would be to keep holding hatred toward her parents. The lesson of Jesus’ cross became a hard slap that awakened Rachel to the meaning of forgiveness.

Although her repentance process took time, Rachel finally was able to contact her father to apologize for harboring hatred toward him for so long. And to her mother, Rachel said that she loved her. Tremendous relief—that was what Rachel felt after completing her repentance. The burden of the sin of hatred that had long weighed down her life was lifted after she apologized.

A number of problems that once seemed negative also became clearer in her view. Rachel learned that the cause of her hatred toward her parents was that she focused too much on her needs and expectations of them. She only focused on her father’s and mother’s shortcomings, but forgot to see their goodness. This new perspective made Rachel realize that her mother was someone who cared for and was responsible toward the family.

On May 5, 2019, Rachel decided to live as a disciple of Jesus. She realized that she would never know when death would come for her. Therefore, she did not want to miss that golden opportunity. Rachel, who had previously never thought about faith, was willing to begin her race of faith seriously.

Rachel is very grateful because her deepening understanding of God’s word was able to change her life and mindset. Her way of seeing everything also became deeper. And, she wants to keep serving, helping others know God, and having all the fruit of the Spirit in Galatia 5:22-23. Amen! - Church GKDI is currently in 35 cities. We have Bible Study activities in every area; if you need information or would like to get involved, contact us at contact Church GKDI Official: WhatsApp 0821 2285 8686 or Facebook / Instagram GKDI Official

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