Is Your Child Hard to Advise? Try These 3 Tips!

As parents, we hope children will listen to advice from us. Don't we understand better? Don't we want children to become their best? Sadly, often children seem unwilling to hear what we say. They think that we as parents are too fussy, even when our intentions are good.

At times, it feels like we want to give up on their attitude. We want the best for them, but what happens if children do not want to listen?

My Child Won't Listen

When a child is still a toddler, it is easy to understand if that child does not listen. However, when children become more mature, and still find it hard to listen to us, it is only natural for despair to begin to arise.

When a child of mine was 8 years old, that child's identity began to take shape. It was easy for him to express what he thought and wanted. Gone was the adorable sweetness he had as a baby.

Often when I helped my child study, we would often argue. Why? Because the child seemed unwilling to pay attention to my advice I told him to write the letters properly, but he scribbled carelessly instead. I tried to remind him, but he said instead, “Dad is so fussy. The letters have to be this way and that way, so it never gets finished.” Because I had run out of patience, I took a wooden spatula to discipline him. 

Usually I would regret it afterward. I felt unable to control my emotions. Disappointment and irritation mixed together. What else could I do, the child of mine found it hard to listen to the advice I gave.

3 Ways to Help Children Listen to Advice

I believe that as parents, you too have experienced what I have just described. Advising or guiding children is indeed never easy. Even so, that is no reason for us to give up. 

As parents, we need to think about the right way to give advice. There are three tips that are quite effective in helping  children listen more easily.

1. Build a Good Relationship with Your Child

As a parent, I am tempted to often advise children without building a connection with them. When my child was still a toddler, I was very happy to be close to him. However, as the childgrew older, our closeness decreased.

The many tasks and activities took up my time. No wonder my relationship with my child grew distant. He thought that when I came near, it was only to advise him, or even to scold him.

Reflecting on the experience above, building a good relationship with children is important. Make sure that we are gentle toward them. Invite them to talk or play. Ask how they are doing, and find out what they like. 

Colossians 3:21 says, Fathers, do not embitter your children, lest they become discouraged. 

It is fitting for parents to bring a good connection to children. How many times do we mean well, yet end up with something bad happening? Let us, as fathers or mothers, stay close so that the hearts of children are glad with us.

2. Give Advice in the Right Way

Proverbs 16:24 (TB)  Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.  

That proverb affirms that pleasant words will greatly help our relationship with children.. Advice that is delivered with good words and in a good way will be more readily received by children of ours. 

It cannot be denied that I often delivered advice with a harsh and emotional tone. Perhaps at first I could still speak well. However, when children began not to listen, my anger rose immediately.

If a piece of advice is delivered in full anger, would children be interested in listening? Advice that is delivered patiently and calmly will surely be more successful than advice that is full of anger. Let us reflect together. How do you advise your children ?

Realizing that, I began to change the way I spoke and the tone I used. My child found it easier to receive and listen to my words. 

3. Give Appreciation When Your Child Listens

When children listen and carry out advice, we can give them appreciation. It can be in the form of words  of thanks and praise for their obedience to our advice . 

Proverbs 12:25 says, Anxiety in a person's heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up. 

The proverb above says that good words can cheer someone up. I believe that also applies to our children When appreciation and praise are given to children, they will feel glad. They will feel more valued. 

Praise will plant a positive self-image in children. Children will also be motivated to listen to our advice next time. Our relationship with children will also become closer. 

When my child was willing to listen and carry out advice, I would praise him. “Dad is proud of you,” was my praise to him. Interestingly, whenever he felt he had succeeded in doing something, he would ask, “Dad, are you proud of me?” And I would immediately say yes. 

With appreciation, children will be more motivated to listen. 

Do Not Give Up Easily

The key so that children listen to our advice is actually simple. Build a relationship with children, advise them in a good way, and give praise when children carry out that advice Indeed, it is easier said than done. However, in time, we will reap the fruit of it: the closeness of children with us, as parents.

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