Healthy Hang Out Class for Jakarta Singles

Building relationships is important, but it is not easy. Therefore, the church held a class called the Healthy Hangout Class. This is a class for singles designed to help the congregation fellowship, especially with the opposite sex. On Sunday, March 08, 2020, at 2:00 p.m., GKDI single members gathered at F3 to hear a lesson on this topic delivered by Ps. Franky Lumenta. 

Ps. Franky began this class by explaining the foundations of the marriage process once practiced by the Jews. In the Bible, there is never any mention of dating relationships. Usually they married by their parents' choice, such as Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob with Leah and Rachel. However, we can learn a picture of marriage from Matthew 25:1-13. 

The Marriage Process in the Bible

There are 3 processes that Jews went through when they were about to marry: 

1. Marriage Contract (Betrothal)
2. Kiddushin (Engagement Feast)
3. Nissu'in (Wedding Feast)

In those days, if a man liked a woman, he would tell his close friend. And this close friend would tell the parents of the woman concerned. Then the process would continue with the introduction of the parents of the man and the woman concerned. This meeting of the two sets of parents was what was called an engagement. 

Then, they would hold an engagement feast. And in this process they made a marriage marriage, called a covenant, which is written about often in the Bible. At this stage, they were not yet living together. The groom would return to his home to build his house. This usually took around 3-6 months. Then, after his house was finished, he would come back to fetch the bride and hold the wedding feast. And at that moment, they were officially husband and wife.

The message we can take from that lesson is that a relationship must be built seriously, not on a trial-and-error basis. Everyone who enters a dating relationship means they are ready to get married. They must be ready not only mentally, but also financially.

From Matthew 7:17-18, Ps. Franky reminded us that healthy people must also pay attention and look for a partner who is healthy. Do not start a relationship with someone unhealthy just because we feel sorry for them and want them to become better. A partner who is spiritually sick will add a burden to the one who is healthy. So it is not impossible for the healthy person to become exhausted and sick as well because of the weight of the burden they carry. That is why the Bible tells us to seek an equally yoked partner (2 Corinthians 6:14).

In Mark 2:17, the congregation is reminded that only the sick need a physician. If we do not feel spiritually healthy, tell a mentor, and "heal" ourselves first. If we are healthy, then we will be able to build a healthy relationship.

Foundations for Building a Relationship with the Opposite Sex

There are several foundations that must be considered in the process of building a relationship:

1. Beneficial

"You say, 'I have the right to do anything,' but not everything is beneficial. 'I have the right to do anything,' but not everything builds up." - 1 Corinthians 10:23

Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. 

Everything may be done, but not everything is useful. The congregation was reminded once again to do things that are useful and build others up. 

2. Not Even a Hint

"But sexual immorality and every kind of impurity or greed must not even be mentioned among you, as is proper for saints. Likewise filthy, empty, or careless talk — because these things are not fitting — but instead give thanks. For be sure of this: no immoral, impure, or greedy person, that is, an idolater, has any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things the wrath of God comes upon the disobedient. Therefore do not become partners with them." - Ephesians 5:3-7

The congregation was reminded again to have a healthy relationship, one in which there is not even the slightest thing leading toward impurity. The Bible records that we are not to partner with people like that. 

3. No Law

In 1 Timothy 1:8-11 it is written that the law is not made for the righteous, but for lawbreakers. Even laws in different places can vary, depending on the behavior of the people there.

So, if we are given laws, such as not being allowed to do this or that, it is because we are people who like to break the law. But for a person whose life is righteous, the law will not be made for that person. A healthy relationship begins with us first being spiritually. 

Technical Matters

Besides those 3 principles, the class also discussed various practical matters, about:

• How to communicate with someone we like
• The content of communication
• What should be done when we begin to fall in love
• What if a mentor and the person being mentored both like the same person
• How to build a healthy relationship if both people already like each other
• What we should do if we are close to someone who is not a disciple of Jesus
• How to say no to someone we do not like
• The difference between hanging out and dating
• Building friendship in the workplace
• Understanding that there is a time for everything
• Paying attention to neatness when meeting Bro/Sis
• What steps should be considered from friendship to steady (in a relationship)

Quite a lot was discussed in that H20 class, both in theory and in practice. It is hoped that through this class, the congregation can better understand the most important matters and what they should do in building relationships with the opposite sex. And in the end, this can help the congregation find an equally yoked partner in the Lord. Amen. 

-

Church GKDI is currently in 35 cities. We have Bible Study activities in every area. If you need information or would like to get involved, contact us. Church GKDI Official:

WhatsApp 0821 2285 8686 or Facebook / Instagram GKDI Official

Related articles:

Inspirational video: