Lonely? Overcome It with These 4 Things

It seems that almost everyone has felt lonely at different levels. Some feel lonely while living alone in a boarding house, far from family. There is no friend to talk to, because everyone is busy or it feels like no one can understand. Or because of losing someone we love. Lonely on Valentine’s Day, for those who are still single. Or because of the pandemic, which forced everyone to practice social distancing and made it hard to see one another. 

A study conducted among 10,000 adults in the United States in January 2020 showed that 61 percent of respondents felt lonely. Meanwhile, in Australia, out of 1,600 people, one in four felt lonely. And 62 percent of them were young adults. Eleven percent were people over 65 years old. This shows that loneliness is an issue experienced by many people.

Actually, feeling lonely is normal. However, constantly feeling lonely is dangerous for mental health, because it can increase stress, trigger depression, lower the body’s immunity, and even cause physical pain. Research shows that the area of the brain that handles social exclusion is the same area that processes pain physically.

So, what is the solution for overcoming loneliness based on God’s word? Let us learn from a Bible figure named Zacchaeus.  

1. Overcome Loneliness by Coming to God

Zacchaeus was a very wealthy tax collector (Luke 19:2). Tax collectors were people assigned to collect duties and taxes for the occupying government, which at that time was the Roman Empire. Often, tax collectors extorted the people for their own profit. Because of this profession, Zacchaeus was disliked and ostracized by his own people, so he felt lonely. 

He was trying to see who Jesus was, but he could not because of the crowd, since he was short. So he ran ahead of the crowd and then climbed a fig tree to see Jesus, who was about to pass that way. – Luke 19:3-4 

When Jesus came to his town, Zacchaeus tried hard to see Him. He did everything he could, even climbing a fig tree, just to see Jesus.

What do we do in the midst of loneliness? Are we like Zacchaeus, striving with all our might to come to Jesus through prayer and reading the Bible every day?

Loneliness arises because we feel that something is lacking or missing from our lives. And true satisfaction and true fullness can only be found in Jesus, not in things, people, or our surroundings. It can only be found in our faith and our personal relationship with God. 

Let us come to Him, just as Zacchaeus did!

2. Repent

But Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord: "Lord, half of what I own I will give to the poor, and if I have extorted anything from anyone, I will pay it back four times over."  – Luke 19:8

What made Zacchaeus avoided by people was his work. As a tax collector, he could extort more than what was required by the Roman government. However, Zacchaeus underwent extreme repentance, as written in the verse above. After he did that, people should have been more accepting of him and willing to be his friend.

What makes us feel lonely? Is it because there is sin or wrongdoing that we have done? Perhaps we often do things that harm many people or fail to take responsibility for our words and promises. We are always late whenever we meet. We like to lie. Borrow money but do not pay it back. Arrogant. Unfriendly and disrespectful toward others. These are areas where we need to repent. When we change, other people will also feel more comfortable being friends with us. 

3. Build Two-Way Communication with Real Human

When Jesus reached that place, He looked up and said, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately, for today I must stay at your house." Then Zacchaeus quickly came down and welcomed Jesus with joy. – Luke 19:5-6

What made Zacchaeus rejoice? He was glad because Jesus was willing to come and stay at his house. Surely Jesus’ arrival made Zacchaeus feel less alone because he had a friend to communicate with, to share stories and experiences. All this time, perhaps no one had been willing to be friends with him, so he did not have a good relationship with others. 

People who are lonely usually look for escape in social media. They keep themselves busy by playing games, staying at home, watching movies, updating statuses, posts/feeds, or stories on social media, and so on, all of which are one-way in nature. After that, what do we get? We feel even more alone, because we are not truly connected with other people. 

Doing the things above is not a sin. Sometimes we also need me-time, to maintain our balance and mental health. However, we also need to interact and build two-way connections with other people, for the same reason.

Being busy with social media cannot drive away loneliness. We need one another in real life. We need connection with real human. Talking and doing activities together such as eating, watching movies, or exercising together can help a lot. In this pandemic season we can also make use of chat, voice calls, and video calls. Video calls are more recommended because we can also see the other person’s expression. 

Humans are social beings. Humans need human touch. For those of us who have preferred being alone, let us start making friends and connecting with more people in real life. 

4. Be Kind to Yourself

Sometimes, our thoughts or our own attitude is what limits us. For example, we blame ourselves when we feel lonely. This will only make things worse. When we are lonely, make sure we are kind to ourselves. Self-care is a good idea, especially when we are feeling down.

There are a number of things you can do to become better in the long run. Avoid negative self-talk . Give yourself space and time. Take a relaxed walk in nature. Eat healthy food, exercise, and get enough sleep. 

As the saying goes, “In a healthy body, there is a strong soul,” we need to care for and be kind to ourselves. 

 “...Love your neighbor as yourself.” – Matthew 22:39

When loneliness comes, let us come to God, repent, communicate and connect with fellow human beings, and be kind to ourselves. May these four things help you overcome loneliness! 

Source: 

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201902/feeling-lonely-discover-18-ways-overcome-loneliness www.verywellmind.com/how-to-cope-with-loneliness-3144939 www.alkitab.sabda.org/dictionary.php?word=pemungut%20cukai -  Related Articles:

• Read the Bible or a Daily Devotional, okay?
• Heal Disappointment the Right Way
• Silent-Killer Characters: 5 Characters That Slowly Destroy Us
• Steps to Obtain Recovery
• Regaining Lost Self-Confidence

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