Do These 2 Things to Build a Relationship with Your Partner!

Have you ever felt tired with the relationship romantic that you are currently in, even though there is so much you have already done? It seems that all the effort you have made to have the relationship you want still has not shown results. In fact, perhaps you are feeling like giving up and thinking about ending the relationship .

But wait a moment. Do not be too quick to make a decision. A good relationship is not built in just one night. 

Parting ways with your partner may not be the solution. We can break up and start a new relationship with someone new. But if our way of building a relationship is not the right way, then it could be that we will keep experiencing the same problems .

It may be that we have a wrong perspective about relationships and our partner, so we are not building the relationship on right principles based on the Bible. What principle is that?

Your Partner Is a Partner Not an Opponent

Likewise you husbands, live wisely with your wives, as with the weaker vessel. Honor them as fellow heirs of grace, namely the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered - 1 Peter 3:7

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and lawlessness have in common? Or how can light be united with darkness? - 2 Corinthians 6:14

God gives us a partner to be a friend or partner in our lives Especially in spiritual matters, therefore we need to seek and have a partner who shares our faith and is equally matched. So that we can grow together toward God.

Yet sometimes, instead of as a partner we can view our partner as an enemy. For example, our partner may keep making the same mistakes that perhaps we have discussed over and over again. We may tend to punish them, get angry, and blame them. We can hurt our partner with harsh and unedifying words just to satisfy our momentary emotions .

Or we see that our partner is better in several areas, such as work or character. So it makes us feel inferior and seek to prove ourselves. We begin to compete against our partner and want to be better than them.

Both views above certainly must be left behind if you want a relationship that grows. Have you ever thought that everything happening in your relationship with your partner is actually God’s way of shaping and restoring us? Perhaps God is training us in patience, or self-control. God also wants us to understand His heart and His ways so that we may have sincere and pure love. And not a relationship focused on each person’s own ego. 

How to See Your Partner as a Partner

How can we see our partner according to God’s design, namely as our partner in growth? Let us learn to do these 2 things.

1. Get Rid of Selfishness, the Main Enemy of Relationships

Love one another with brotherly affection and outdo one another in showing honor. - Romans 12:10

A relationship that is focused on oneself will eventually make us not happy, but tired, worn out, frustrated, and demanding that our partner become what we want. We do not know how or do not want to serve our partner. We do not learn to understand our partner and only want to be prioritized. 

But the verse above clearly says that we need to love and honor one another, without conditions. And we should actively begin first. Perhaps it is easy for us to honor our partner only at certain times. For example, when the relationship is going well, our mood is stable, or our partner is behaving well.

Are we willing to learn to step out of our selfishness, humble ourselves, and have love that is unconditional? Let us keep praying that God will help us break free from selfishness. Also, it is very good if we ask for help from people who can help us, including our partner if needed.

2. Do It with Humility 

Be completely humble and gentle, and patient. Show your love by helping one another - Ephesians 4:2

Have you ever seen a healthy relationship without humility?

Humility is not only about who comes first when there is a conflict. It is also humility in accepting your partner’s weaknesses. Sometimes we can be unfair. We more easily accept our partner’s strengths, but we make less effort to accept their weaknesses. We need to learn to accept our partner as a whole package, namely both strengths and weaknesses.

If not us, then who will accept our partner’s weaknesses? It cannot possibly be someone else, right? If right now we still find it difficult to accept our partner’s weaknesses, we need to pray earnestly. So that God will give us a gentle heart that can accept our partner’s weaknesses, just as God has first fully accepted us, both our weaknesses and our strengths.

Walk Together, Grow Together

It’s not about me or you, it’s about us. A good relationship is built when you and your partner are willing to work together. That is why humility, not selfishness, is what matters most.

Let us keep seeing our partner as a partner in growing toward God. By continuing to learn to put away our selfishness and always having the humility to accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses. May God bless your relationship with your partner. Keep going!! -  Related Articles:

• A Dating Style Full of Blessing
• An Effective Way to Speak the Truth in Love to Your Partner
• Build These Things During Courtship
• Falling in Love or Staying in Love?
• How Do We Balance Expectations with Acceptance?

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