Waiting for a Christian Spouse When Single Life Feels Scary

A year ago, I met a woman single Christian. She had been waiting for a life partner for thirteen years. She expressed her decision to leave her faithbecause she found a spouse who was not Christian. A few months later, another woman also made a similar decision, choosing a partner who was not Christian.

What a pity, the struggle of their faith for more than a decade collapsed for the sake of someone they considered a soulmate—and not a Christian spouse. Why can this happen? What should we do when the waiting for a life partner never seems to end?

The Hardest Struggle for Singles

“Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now ending in the flesh? Have you experienced so much for nothing? Surely it was not in vain!” – Galatians 3:3-4  

It is already an open secret that the hardest struggle for a single person or unmarried person is following the Lord for so long, growing older year by year, yet a Christian spouse still shows no sign of appearing.

At first we try to stay calm, have faith, and appear strong.  We think positively; maybe next year, or a few years from now, that Christian spouse will come. Or, that spouse is on the way and it is just not yet time for us to meet now. Until at last, we come to panicked and hysterical questions because none of those possibilities ever become reality.

“How long, Lord?”

“How much longer, Lord?”

“Where is Your promise, Lord?!”

“Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my distress. Incline Your ear to me; on the day I call, answer me quickly!” – Psalm 102:2

Then, our single life becomes full of bitterness, without hope and faith for the future in the Lord. We begin to feel inferior and have many fears. We feel lonely, then lower our standards so that we can be accepted and loved by others.

Why does being single seem frightening and shameful, especially when that Christian spouse never comes?

What does the Bible say about a single person who has not yet found a Christian spouse?

“Let each person continue to live the life the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.” – 1 Corinthians 7:17

What does it mean?

1. Keep living as the Lord has assigned

In his letter to the Corinthian church, Paul repeats the same thing three times, namely in verses 17, 20, and 24. So that we remain in the condition as when we were called by the Lord. That means, you accept and enjoy your present state of being single .

Being single is the most comfortable period of life with fewer burdens. In general, the main responsibility of a single person is only to oneself. Financially, you are more independent. You also have more free time for yourself, with a flexible schedule.

Teenagers (Teens) and young adults (Campus) are burdened with study responsibilities and still depend on their parents financially. They tend to be more vulnerable to negative peer pressure (pressure from peers), for example promiscuity. Their activities are also more limited than those of adults.

Married people or those who are already married, have responsibilities toward their spouse, and for those who have children, toward their children. They must take care of the household, be an example to their family, make time to teach their spouse and children according to the values in God's word (1 Corinthians 7:33-34).  Their financial burdens are also far heavier.

And, single? You are the most fortunate person!

If you are single, live your single life with joy. Enjoy every moment and value the freedom you have. You have many opportunities to do more for the Lord, to serve in the Kingdom of God and be an inspiration (1 Corinthians 7:32,35).

You should not pity yourself and live in bitterness just because you have not yet found a Christian spouse. Celebrate your single life, and carve as many memorable monuments as possible together with the Lord. Living as a single is a blessing!

From afar the Lord appeared to him: I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued My faithfulness to you. – Jeremiah 31:3b

2. The Lord's love is more than enough

In your opinion, is having the Lord alone enough for your life?

Jesus died so that you might be saved from the pit of sin and from a wasted life, and have a relationship with Him. He loves you. And is that not more than enough, that you are loved by the One whose love is perfect and everlasting? Jesus is greater than the person you have been seeking and needing all this time.

“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” – John 6:68

Set your heart to faithfully follow the Lord, whatever path your life takes. Peter said that he had nowhere else to go, because the words of Jesus are the words of eternal life. So, never trade your salvation for anything. Pray for strength so that you can sincerely accept your situation even without a life partner.

If the Lord alone cannot satisfy your single life, then there are two possibilities: you do not understand, or you have forgotten what Jesus has done for you. If you are not satisfied now, it may be that later, tomorrow, or the day after, you still will never be satisfied. When we forget to be thankful and always think the grass is greener on the other side, it will be hard for us to be happy.

Life is broad; it is not only about finding a spouse. Do not live it with regret and self-pity. Explore every opportunity that has been given to you. Enjoy your relationship with Jesus while single. Savor the opportunity to be His beloved disciple, and take pride that you, the singles, can be men and women of God.

Whether you are married or not, that is not what matters. What matters is how you live it by doing the commandments of God. Singles, remember His cross and live always under His covering.

God bless!

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Related Articles:

• How to Avoid the Trap of Loneliness While Waiting for a Spouse
• Is Marriage the Source of Happiness?
• Waiting for a Life Partner with a Smile? Here Is the Key
• Singles, These 3 Special Freedoms Are Just for You!
• Staying Pure as a Single, an Unrealistic Challenge?

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