Staying Pure While Single, an Unrealistic Challenge?

Staying pure in this highly advanced age, where anything that satisfies the eyes and desires can be found on a device, is a major challenge. Pornography, premarital sex, masturbation, and unrestricted dating are some of the hardest struggles of being single.

For some people, perhaps staying pure is not that difficult, but for others the struggle is very hard. And it must be admitted, there are days when we can easily overcome temptation, but there are also days when we need extra effort. So, how do we stay pure in our single years?

Purity: God's Calling for Us

For God has not called us to uncleanness, but to holiness. – 1 Thessalonians 4:7

But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: Be holy, because I am holy. – 1 Peter 1:15-16

The call to live a holy life as a single is not an illusion or something impossible. If guarding holiness is written as a command in the Bible, that means it is possible to do. God will not give a command that human beings cannot carry out. What often happens is that we ourselves feel that maintaining purity is impossible.

To maintain holiness in the waiting season, you can apply the following things:

1. Build a Commitment to Holy Living

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. – Hebrews 12:14

You must understand why you need to live in purity. The Bible says that only those who live holy lives will see God. When you think obscene thoughts, speak obscenely, or do obscene things, it means you are no longer living in holiness. As men and women who belong to God, we must have the conviction that we can find extraordinary satisfaction by pursuing the holiness God desires. Not by fulfilling our lustful desires.

For everything in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not from the Father but from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. - 1 John 2:16-17

As a single, a commitment to holy living is not impossible for you to achieve, including by:

• Being open about your weaknesses to people who can help you come out of impurity. Even whenever you begin to be tempted or fall.
• Recognizing your weakness, for example if your phone often causes you to fall into pornography, use your phone only as needed, and even limit yourself from viewing content that provokes you to fall.
• Confessing your sin to God. Ask God for forgiveness, because you have failed to keep your purity. Then ask Him for strength.

2. Increase Spiritual Discipline

A boxer trains to develop good and strong muscles. Besides that, he also trains so that his punches hit the target. The goal is that he can defeat his opponent and win the match.

Spiritual training is just as important as physical training. If you want to live in purity, you must have spiritual discipline. The goal is so that you are able to defeat sin and temptation. Here are some things you can do to be more disciplined in purity:

• Memorize verses related to purity.
• Pray together with a brother or sister who can help you
• Join a healthy community that can build you up spiritually.

Ephesians 6:10-11 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can stand against the devil's schemes.

3. Do Not Give In to Temptation

Expecting temptation not to exist is impossible. No matter how serious you are about wanting to live holy, temptation will still always be there. Temptation is not sin, but when you give in to temptation and begin to follow your lusts, that is sin.

• Do activities that keep you busy and distract you from temptation. For example, exercising, playing music, singing, talking with other people, or meeting with fellow believers.

• Pass / skip parts of magazines, films, or videos that risk leading you into sin. Consuming reading material or shows with pornography means you are leading yourself into a fall.

• Stay away from suggestive conversations that make you think dirty thoughts. Sometimes, because we are having so much fun joking around, without realizing it our words become obscene, our conversations become vulgar.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. – Ephesians 5:3

Purity Is a Choice

What I mean is this: live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are contrary to the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are contrary to the flesh – Galatians 5:16-17a

Even though the Holy Spirit is within you, you must make the decision to live in His Spirit. The Bible says that the desires of the flesh are contrary to the desires of the Spirit. Therefore, you must learn to depend on the Spirit. You must believe that the Holy Spirit is within you and that He will help you win that struggle!

So, do not give up! Build the desire and determination to live holy, accompanied by discipline and strong commitment. God will give you the strength to resist every temptation and become a pure person. You can do it!

“And for their sake I sanctify Myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth.” – John 17:19

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