A Harmonious Family Does Not Fall from the Sky

I enjoy seeing product advertisements that portray a harmonious family. Their home is clean and tidy, the wife is beautiful and well cared for, the husband is neat and established, and the children are healthy and cheerful. They seem happy and to enjoy life with the help of the advertised product.

Sadly, life is not always as beautiful as an advertisement. Many families are in a condition completely opposite to that made-up romance. Wives are frustrated, husbands depressed, children are heartbroken. They live in the same house, sleep in the same room, but their hearts no longer greet one another. Busy with their own thoughts and lives.

So, do happy families exist only in advertisements?

When Marriage Is Not as Beautiful as Dating

Who gets married because they want to suffer? I am sure everyone wants happiness in marriage.

At first, everything feels beautiful. Yet years later, it becomes clear: our spouse is not as ideal as when we were still dating. Our husband's carelessness starts to show, and how nagging our wife can be. Conflict happens; differences of opinion explode into long disputes. The romance evaporates without a trace, leaving tension and boredom behind. We regret the decision to marry them.

Many eventually give up in the struggle to get through this crisis This. They divorce, saying they are no longer compatible, and then bury their dream. I will not find a harmonious family with this person, they think. Maybe that happiness is with someone else. They then marry again, but often encounter the same disappointment, or even worse.

There is nothing wrong with dreaming of having a harmonious family. However, a harmonious family is not formed in dreams. We must wake up and fight in the real world. It takes great effort and sincerity, and not infrequently, tears. Because talking about marriage means talking about self-denial, the wearing away of ego, forgiveness, and acceptance of one another.

Differences That Become Strength

You do not need to study under a master or meditate to get the recipe for a harmonious family. God has already given an effective tip: as long as husband and wife are willing to obey His word, they can make the dream of a harmonious family a reality. The condition is that they must take their respective duties and roles seriously, without waiting for or demanding it from their spouse (Ephesians 5:22-27).

Men and women were created differently, and many couples divorce on the grounds that there is no compatibility. Yet Jesus' disciples must use those differences to become compatible with each other.

For example, you are forgetful and your spouse is a perfectionist. These opposite poles have the potential to trigger conflict, but also to strengthen the relationship because they complement each other. It depends on how husband and wife interpret and manage their differences. If we focus only on shortcomings, destruction will happen. But by making the most of the good side of our differences, we can view every problem we face positively.

Tips for Building a Harmonious Family

Here are four tips you can apply:

1. Be Convinced That My Spouse Is God's Best Gift

When the problems in your household grow more severe, a question usually arises: Is he or she my best partner?

In truth, this question only burdens our minds and weakens our hearts. By harboring doubt, we actually give the devil an opening.

Then the man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man." –Genesis 2:23

Regardless of Eve's shortcomings, Adam was so proud of her. Let us learn from Adam, who loved and esteemed his spouse because he believed she was God's best gift.

2. Be the First to Love One Another

Let us not want to get ahead of other drivers only on the road. God wants us to outdo one another in giving honor and love in the relationship between husband and wife.

“Love one another with brotherly affection and outdo one another in showing honor.” – Romans 12:10

A wife should not wait to be loved before honoring her husband. On the other hand, a husband should not wait to be honored before loving his wife. If husband and wife both wait for a ‘return,’ there will be no meaningful progress in the relationship.

3. Compare in Order to Be Grateful, Not to Put Down

No one likes to be compared. So why do we like comparing ourselves and our spouse to other people? It is because comparing is part of basic human nature. Without it, we could not distinguish between what is good and what is bad.

“And above all these things put on love, which binds everything together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, for to this you were called in one body. And be thankful.” – Colossians 3:14-15

Even if we are “forced” to compare our spouse, focus on their good side. For example, although our husband is not as rich as a friend's husband, be grateful that he is honest, hardworking, and not demanding. It may be that what we dismiss or consider ordinary is precisely what others long for. Out there, many husbands not only make no contribution to the household, but also cruelly abuse their wives.

Be grateful for your spouse's strengths. Let the love of Christ be the bond that unites and perfects.

4. A Harmonious Family Must Be Fought For, Not Fall from the Sky

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with one another and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:12-13

Let us say we have prayed and tried. But why does God not change our husband / wife overnight or make them perfect in an instant?

God allows imperfection to remain so that we may learn and depend on God (2 Corinthians 12:8). When your marriage is struck by problems, instead of immediately going your separate ways, take time to pray and calm yourself. Come to your spiritual mentor and be open to receiving counsel. Surrender to God and do your best according to His will.

Children can sense harmony or tension between their parents. When the relationship between husband and wife improves, automatically the way parenting we do also becomes better, and vice versa. In this way, everyone can smile within the frame of a harmonious family. Let us strive to make it a reality!

* Churches of GKDI are currently in 35 cities. We have Bible Study activities in every area; if you need information or would like to get involved, contact us at Church GKDI Official: WhatsApp 0821 2285 8686 or Facebook / Instagram GKDI Official

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